Post by Nathan on Nov 29, 2007 18:55:21 GMT -6
My Calves, let us give praise to Butter Cow this fine Thursday. Bow your heads as we moo to the all Butterful.
O Cow, we seek your wisdom and guidance in our lives. Lead us in the paths of righteousness so that we may walk in thy buttery wake. Acow.
Today I would like to read a selection from the Revelation. Biffor here describes one of the signs of the coming battle between good and evil.
And then there was a room with many tubes. In it were cows being grown in a most unnatural way. The reverent Butter Cow saw this and was not pleased. He commanded one of the cows to grow, and thus it grew as a tumor, uncontrolled until it caused the demon to erupt and burst. Still the cow continued to grow until it let forth its own spawn into the world.
My Calves, this is surely a sign that the ultimate battle of destiny is soon upon us. Do we not now have horrible genetically engineered "cows" being bred and sold and devoured? Repent now and follow the Laws of Taznim or ye shall surely become the bedfellow of the pretender, the Margarine Cow, and eternally shunned by the one true Cow!
For the benediction please rise for a verse from the Hymnal, The Spirit of Cow Like a Fire is Burning:
The Spirit of Cow like butter is melting;
The latter day glory begins to come forth;
The visions and blessings of old are returning;
The angels are coming to visit the earth
We'll sing and we'll shout with the armies of Athlon:
Hosanna, hosanna to Cow and the Saints!
Reverence to them in the highest be given,
Henceforth and forever: acow and acow!
Butter be with you my Calves. You may go out into the world.
O Cow, we seek your wisdom and guidance in our lives. Lead us in the paths of righteousness so that we may walk in thy buttery wake. Acow.
Today I would like to read a selection from the Revelation. Biffor here describes one of the signs of the coming battle between good and evil.
And then there was a room with many tubes. In it were cows being grown in a most unnatural way. The reverent Butter Cow saw this and was not pleased. He commanded one of the cows to grow, and thus it grew as a tumor, uncontrolled until it caused the demon to erupt and burst. Still the cow continued to grow until it let forth its own spawn into the world.
My Calves, this is surely a sign that the ultimate battle of destiny is soon upon us. Do we not now have horrible genetically engineered "cows" being bred and sold and devoured? Repent now and follow the Laws of Taznim or ye shall surely become the bedfellow of the pretender, the Margarine Cow, and eternally shunned by the one true Cow!
For the benediction please rise for a verse from the Hymnal, The Spirit of Cow Like a Fire is Burning:
The Spirit of Cow like butter is melting;
The latter day glory begins to come forth;
The visions and blessings of old are returning;
The angels are coming to visit the earth
We'll sing and we'll shout with the armies of Athlon:
Hosanna, hosanna to Cow and the Saints!
Reverence to them in the highest be given,
Henceforth and forever: acow and acow!
Butter be with you my Calves. You may go out into the world.