Post by Brian Capelle on May 24, 2007 7:41:40 GMT -6
In honor of the brilliant, intelligent, late Jerry Falwell, a man who taught us that the Teletubbies are gay, 9/11 was caused by gay people, and there is no global warming, I'd like to take a moment to do a bit of teaching myself.
In the recent Spiderman 3 film, we learn that there are two Spidermen. Because these two Spidermen constantly throughout the whole movie are sexually suggestive to eachother, we learned that Spiderman is gay and should be banned.
Another part of the Bible clearly states, in Faluciano 1:4*, "if ye be into nation simulation, and ye accuse another nation of doing nothing for the community, ye are clearly being sexually suggestive to the leader of such nation. Therefore, ye are commiting gayness and the like and must be stoned to death, preferrably by Cheetos."
Finally, we must discuss Harry Potter. When Ronald Weasley finds his hand holding Hermione's in the third Harry Potter movie when they are in fear of the Hippogriff, he is clearly taking a glance at Harry's buttocks. Therefore, we know the actor is gay. After all, he has seen Equus so he must be! So Rupert Grint must be Cheetototed.
Finally, I disagree with Falwell about 9/11. The gays did not cause the attacks. I know who did, however.
Butter cow.
Just look in his eyes, it screams terrorism.
He must be shoved into the nearest oven and melted down immediately.
*That is NOT part of the Bible. This is a joke, I aint endorsing it, I did not write that to ever be intended to be thought as a real part of the Bible. Further, I respect Liam Sinclair but not his views on Natopia. This whole thing is to spout religious crap like Falwell did that makes about as much sense. Maybe he believed what he preached, but it was just so far fetched it's hard to imagine.
In the recent Spiderman 3 film, we learn that there are two Spidermen. Because these two Spidermen constantly throughout the whole movie are sexually suggestive to eachother, we learned that Spiderman is gay and should be banned.
Another part of the Bible clearly states, in Faluciano 1:4*, "if ye be into nation simulation, and ye accuse another nation of doing nothing for the community, ye are clearly being sexually suggestive to the leader of such nation. Therefore, ye are commiting gayness and the like and must be stoned to death, preferrably by Cheetos."
Finally, we must discuss Harry Potter. When Ronald Weasley finds his hand holding Hermione's in the third Harry Potter movie when they are in fear of the Hippogriff, he is clearly taking a glance at Harry's buttocks. Therefore, we know the actor is gay. After all, he has seen Equus so he must be! So Rupert Grint must be Cheetototed.
Finally, I disagree with Falwell about 9/11. The gays did not cause the attacks. I know who did, however.
Butter cow.
Just look in his eyes, it screams terrorism.
He must be shoved into the nearest oven and melted down immediately.
*That is NOT part of the Bible. This is a joke, I aint endorsing it, I did not write that to ever be intended to be thought as a real part of the Bible. Further, I respect Liam Sinclair but not his views on Natopia. This whole thing is to spout religious crap like Falwell did that makes about as much sense. Maybe he believed what he preached, but it was just so far fetched it's hard to imagine.
