All My Mehlville: Episode Two

[Nathan]

All My Mehlville
Foundations Trilogy

A Drama Written by Nathan Shepard and
Assisted by Theresa Lochhaas

Episode Two: “The Defense Force”

Narrator: Welcome back to All My Mehlville! I’m so glad you are back! Well, I could care less about you personally. I only care that we haven’t been canceled yet. Ha! [In monotone voice] But I am kidding... We are very pleased that you have returned for the second episode.

Scene- The Cool Nook

Theresa: No, Nathan, we can’t do that!

Nathan: We must!

Sherry: What? What must we do Nathan?

Emily: [In bored, sarcastic voice] Oh yes, please tell us, oh faithful leader.

Nathan: [glares at Emily] PREP!

[Several Freaks begin to advance on her]

Emily: Ah! I’m sorry!

Nathan: [To freaks] She’s OK.

[Freaks slowly leave]

Theresa: [Looks thoroughly confused at Nathan’s display of fascism] Um... well... anyway... Nathan wants to mobilize... the.... [In whisper] the Defense Force.

Sherry: Well, waddawe waitin’ for!!

Theresa: I don’t think it’s a good idea! The D.F was created....

Nathan: It’s the N.D.F. Remember?

Theresa: The N.D.F. was created only for real emergencies!

Nathan: The N.D.F. was created for this such emergency! Tree, the Admin is plotting to kill 500 students!! One is dead already!

Theresa: But... it will instill panic!

Nathan: There already is panic! Poor Richard was last seen complaining about too much homework... the next thing everyone hears is that HE’S DEAD!

Sherry: He’s got a good point... I second the motion.

Theresa: You have no say in the matter.

Sherry: [In fake French accent] Au contraire, madamoiselle, the N.D.F. is the Natopian Defense Force, in case you forgot the acronym. And, I am the Grand Judge of Natopia.

Nathan: Yes, Tree, she outranks you.

Tree: Why did I ever let you incorporate the Student Body Defense Force into the Republic of Natopia??

Sherry: I’m glad you let him. [Grins stupidly]

Emily: I’ve never heard of the Student Body Defense Force.

Theresa: When Natedog and I first teamed up after that... incident... we decided to use our powers to help our fellow students. We called ourselves the Student Body Defense Force. Then Nathan here developed Natopia and thought it would be cool to have a military organization in it. So where else did he turn? Me. I got dragged in as the Supreme Spiritual Leader and the Student Body Defense Force was renamed the Natopian Defense Force. Thus putting it under complete control of Nathan... err... the Grand Chancellor.

Nathan: Don’t forget Aaron, he’s the Supreme Commander of the NDF.

Theresa: Yes, of course.

Nathan: But as a Chancellorial Decree I am removing him from command and placing us both in joint leadership.

Theresa: Excellent.

Nathan: Now, we have to recruit the students to our plight. No doubt the administration will have started recruiting. They can offer more then we can as an enlistment bonus... we offer coupons to Steak ‘n Shake... they offer the promise of no homework.

Sherry: These days “no homework” is synominous with “life”

Emily: What a brave new world we live in.

Sherry: Um... guys? Did you notice we haven’t moved... at all... since the scene started?

Emily: Yeah... my legs are getting tired from standing!

Nathan: Hey! Writer!! What kind of screenwriter has four characters motionless for a whole scene??

Narrator: Well, I figured the scene was rather full already, what with the dialogue and the explanation of the Defense Force.

Nathan: C’mon!

Narrator: You don’t wanna mess with a screenwriter! Take this!

[Nathan strips and runs through halls shouting, “I’m gay, and so proud! Be my boyfriend someone!” then returns and dresses]

Nathan: Um... I’m sorry. Can people not remember that?



Nathan: Thanks!

Narrator: Um... you’re not supposed to remember anything.

Nathan: Oh! Hehehe... Never mind then... [Blushes]

Sherry: So how about some of that moving?

Narrator: Oh, right, here ya go!

[Everyone does 20 jumping jacks]

All: Thanks man!

Narrator: No problem.

[Fade out]

Scene- Lunch, café

Nathan: OK, when are we gonna start recruiting?

Tree: [In mock voice] I don’t know, grand chancellor, you tell me!

Nathan: Tree, come come, we are facing grave odds; this is no time to be acting that way!

Sherry: Yeah! Um... I agree!

Emily: [to Sherry] When will we implement the plan?

Sherry: Shush! Not here! We don’t want those two to hear!

Tree: Well, you are speaking very loudly; now I can’t help but ask what you two are up to.

Emily: ... uh.... nothing!

[Shadow enters]

Shadow: Attention human slug beasts! Your school principals are attempting to murder you!! Stay home, don’t do homework!

[Nathan and Tree approach Shadow]

Tree: Will you tell us who you are now?

Shadow: Um... no!

[Shadow vanishes]

[Nicole appears in the crowd that has formed]

Nicole: Well well, the Dork Dou again! Why will you not let us eat lunch in peace?! Running up here telling us not to do homework or to stay home. Paah!

Nathan: You are an evil one, Nicole.

Tree: Don’t make us remove you from this dimension like we did to your lackey... Mr. Nicolesbich.

Nicole: Ha! They have a sense of humor! How sweet. Now, let the revolution begin! We will take back supremacy of the halls! Preps!!! Assemble!!

[All Preps in the café run upstairs to the Gym]

Nathan: Uh-oh. I don’t like this...

Tree: Nathan, we have no choice, we must crush their movement, the Preps cannot reclaim the halls, they have oppressed the Freaks for too long!

Nathan: I agree! Natopian Defense Force!!! Assemble!!

[All freaks run up to the Gym]

Sherry: This is big... I wonder if Oakville has these problems?

Emily: Why wouldn’t they? Isn’t this normal high school life?

Sherry: No... not at all.

Scene ends

Scene- Gym A, the Natopian Defense Force and the Prep Patrol, led by Nicole, are facing off

Nicole: Haha! We will reclaim the halls!

Nathan: no, you are incorrect in that assumption!!

Nicole: Then let my Preps decide!! Charge!!

Tree: Implement Defense Force plan DD-234/R5!!!!!!

NDF: Huh?

Tree: [sighs] Charge them!!

NDF: Oh! Ahhhhhh! [Runs at PP]

Narrator: [blank screen covers battle scene] We apologize, but this scene could not be completed due to budget constraints and the laziness of the writer.

[Nathan]

Apparently he doesn’t have the time, or talent, to write a simple battle scene! Well... I can do better!!

[The gym and two armies are drawn in crude crayon animation; the two crayon armies “bump” against each other to simulate battle for 30 seconds]

Narrator: [blank screen returns] See? Wasn’t that much more enjoyable??

[Gym scene fades into focus with the PP decimated on the floor and the NDF unscathed]

Nicole: .... How did you do that??

Tree: We can never tell you, if we did...

Nathan: It all happened one day at the zoo... I was at the monkey cages and a rather greenish ape broke free and licked my foot. I thought nothing of it at the time. [Random freak shouts “weirdo”] but later that night I saw a news segment that said an escaped radioactive ape licked visiting weirdo. Then I knew... A radioactive green ape licked me! And it gave me superhuman powers!

Nicole: Ok, so how did Tree get the power? If the monkey licked you to give you your powers then.... OH MY GAWD!!! YOU LICKED HER!!!!! NOW I KNOW YOU SLEPT WITH EACH OTHER!!!!!!

[Nathan enters a stage of dormancy and his eyes glaze over as what is certain to be a catfight ensues]

Tree: He did NOT lick me!! Eww!

Nicole: Then how did you get his powers?

Tree: I received my powers from a completely different source! The moon!!

Nicole: The moon? Puh-leeze!

Tree: No, really! I was experimenting with a special type of glass that used moonlight to create electrical energy... and... it transformed moonlight into more then electrical energy... it gave me superhuman powers!

Nicole: Yes, well let me tell you something... I have superhuman powers too!

Tree: that would explain why you survived our Psy-blast!

Nicole: Duh!

Tree: well, we have to state it just in case someone at home didn’t get it, I mean, it’s a major plot development, if someone doesn’t get it they may be confused for the rest of the story!

Nicole: Whatever! A strange shadowy figure gave me my powers, and he told me to use them against “the two that do good.” And that obviously meant you and Nathan.

[Nathan snaps out of his daze]

Nathan: Huh? Whaa?

Tree: Nicole has super human powers!

Nathan: That would explain why she survived our Electro-bomb!

Tree: We used a Psy-blast on the Prep Patrol though. An electro- bomb would’ve killed everyone in the room, including the NDF.

Nathan: Oops.

Tree: Whaddaya mean oops?

Nathan: I kinda used a tinsey one.

Tree: You did?? Why hasn’t it gone off?

Nathan: I must’ve used a time delay one... or something.

Tree: Evacuate the gym!!

[The gym explodes causing everyone inside to erupt into flames as massive amounts of electricity surges through their bodies, causing their blood vessels to explode, their eyeballs to explode, ands their spleens to collapse and cause mini-black holes.]

[Nathan, Tree, and Nicole fly out of the gym, unscathed]

Tree: You are in so much trouble Nathan!!

Nicole: HAHA!!

Nathan: Why are you so happy, Preps died too!

Nicole: So? I’m a Prep, I only care about myself!!

Tree: Heartless bitch!

Scene ends

Scene- Quad

[Tree and Nathan land next to Sherry and Emily who are sitting on a bench by the pond]

Tree: Do you realize, 500 students died?!

Nathan: I said I was sorry! But hey, now the administration doesn’t have to kill off any more students.

Tree: At least we could’ve handled that plot! You instantly killed 500 people!

Sherry: You did? I thought you two were sworn to protect?

Tree: We are... [Sighs]

Emily: So, is the Prep threat gone at least?

Tree: No, that’s the worst part, Nicole, the Prep leader, has super human powers too!

Sherry: NO! Where’d she get them?

Nathan: A shadowy figure...

[Shadow appears]

Shadow: I think you two need help.

Tree: Who are you and why did you give Nicole powers?

Shadow: It will all work out... until then, you must rebuild the NDF. It is crucial to the final Phase!

Nathan: What are you taking about? What phase?

Shadow: Just rebuild the Defense Force!

[Shadow disappears]

Tree: Why should we listen to him? He helped the enemy!

Nathan: I don’t like it either, but I’m sure Nicole will rebuild the PP... We have to rebuild the Force, just in case she decided to attack. We must recruit a massive amount! Before we just concentrated on the Freaks... we need to contact some other anti-Prep cliques.

Sherry: Why not the Goths?

Tree: Yes, they’ve had an active resistance going well for a time now. We could try the Nerds too. They may be able to develop strategies for us.

Nathan: Excellent. Who else?

Emily: The Loners are a large group, but due to their nature, they are not organized at all. I could work on a Loner recruitment plan.

Tree: Good! The Punks may be beneficial.

Nathan: Yes. Is it safe to assume the Jocks will be recruited into the Patrol by now?

Sherry: I’m sure... what about the Druggies? They are a large group... but do we want them associated with us?

Nathan: No, we will use them only as backup... I hope we don’t need back up.

Tree: The Preps are a large group, about half the student population. But with all the Freaks, Goths, Punks, Nerds, and Loners, we will have a slight size advantage... and we have two super-powered humans... they have but one!

Sherry: OK, should we all go recruitin’?

Tree: Yes, go! Get all anti-Preps you can! Unite under the flag of Natopia!

Nathan: Once this is all over... maybe I can rule them under the flag of Natopia... I mean... they will be so grateful that I lead them to victory over the Preps and Jocks... they will have to submit to me!!

Tree: You are strange...

Nathan: So?

Scene ends

Scene- Office, after school

Viviano: How will we explain that explosion in the gym?

Driscoll: Gas leak... this is Mehlville; it will be perfectly understandable that we have faulty piping. Then we can ask for a tax hike to pay for new piping!

Viviano: But we wont use it on piping... now that 500 students have perished... we don’t need to upgrade anything to bring us up to state standards!!

Duffey: Well actually, we really do need some basic supplies...

Viviano: Hush woman! We are rich now!

Driscoll: We could give a raise to ourselves and all teachers the supported the student elimination plot. As a reward to them.

Viviano: Yes! And a big screen TV for the lounge!!

Driscoll: Yeah!! But we should re-pipe something, just so the fiscal watchdogs don’t get on us...

Viviano: Yeah... we could re-pipe the Annex, some teachers have complained about low test scores over there and students comment on funny smells. But then they laugh and wander off...

Driscoll: Sounds like a plan! Haha!

Viviano: HAHA!!

Scene ends

Scene- the Hallway, next day

[Nathan, Sherry, Emily, Tasneem, and Joel standing talking]

Nathan: Since this Defense Force is so large, I am reassigning you all from you original Natopian positions and temporarily placing you in command of a Defense Force Battalion, you are all given a field promotion to Lieutenant. You will report directly to me, Supreme Commander Aaron, Spiritual Leader Tree, or General David.

Sherry: Aye aye, Grand Commander sir!

Emily: Why can’t Emilyland be in charge of the Defense Force??

Nathan: [glares at Emily] PREP!!

[Nearby Defense Enforcers crowd around Emily]

Emily: I’M SORRY, Your Excellency, please forgive me!

Nathan: Back off Enforcers.

Enforcers: Aye sir.

Nathan: OK, Lt.’s assemble your battalions and regroup at the “away” side of the football field. That is where we will make our assault against the Prep Patrol.

All: Aye sir!

[All leave, except Nathan]

Nathan: Excellent, Natopia’s ideals will soon be forced upon the unwitting students of this school!

[Shadow appears]

Shadow: You command your forces well, Grand Commander.

Nathan: Thank you.

Shadow: I hope you are willing to command them under any circumstances?

Nathan: Of course! The Natopian Defense Force will meet any threat!

Shadow: That is good to hear.

[Shadow disappears]

Nathan: Something big is about to happen... I just know it... I don’t know what... or when... or why... but something will happen at this school that will change the known universe and bend the laws of time and space!

End of Episode Two: The Defense Force